I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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