just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
