Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ttyl tear gas
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
