Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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