Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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