I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize