yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
