so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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