my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
