ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my vag is so smooth its legendary
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
