They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
