lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we have pet lesbian snakes
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I pour the whiskey from now on
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
