Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We left the knife in your bed.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
