and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
