i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
