How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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