I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize