cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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