people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You took a bar mat shot.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
