New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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