hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
