When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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