I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
