Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You pole danced in your parka.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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