How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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