so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
