So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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