Yo dont text me then not text me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
