I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
