Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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