Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
