You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
