I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
