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Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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