I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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