that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
