weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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