Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
