please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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