Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
