haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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