Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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