I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
