you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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