I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize