Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
