I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
