Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
