nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
