I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
