I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
