its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
