I am puke
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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