Kiss
Puke
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
