My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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