So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm sobbing to NWA
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
