names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
