I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
