so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
