I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize