I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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