let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
