hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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