my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
