i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
True strength comes from lack of pants
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
