so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
