Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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