after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize