chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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