So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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