plz talk dirty to me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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