let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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