garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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