Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize