pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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