My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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