Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
