in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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