The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
