lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
