you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Green mimosas i think yes
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
