she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
