A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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